The Basis for Atheist Morality

So back in the 20th century there used to be this thing called Citizens Band radio. Any idiot with 100 bucks could talk to a bunch of their fellow losers from the comfort of their own home. Pink was one such idiot. One night Pink was working the night shift at the factory. Instead of eating lunch during the lunch break like any sensible person, Pink went out to the parking lot and turned on his CB to hear what was going on.

There was a conversation already in progress between a certain Ms String Bean and a certain Mr Hockey Fan. Although, quite seriously, I doubt if these were their real names. The topic of conversation, oddly enough, was Pink. Mr. Fan actually didn't quite care for Pink. First of all, he was too ... pink. Secondly, he didn't believe in unicorns. And lastly, he though Pink was invisible.

Pink waited a second to hear what Ms Bean, his good friend, would say in his defense. Sadly, Ms Bean had to admit that yes, Pink is a bit pink. And also, she is not quite sure that she believes in unicorns, either. And finally, she couldn't say that she'd actually ever seen Pink.

The Communications Decency Act had not yet been passed. But even in those days, there were certain things that should never ever be broadcast. Even from a CB radio. Pink didn't care. He keyed up his microphone and let out a mighty FU. A shot in the dark. After that Pink maintained radio silence.

It was a bad scene all around. Feelings were hurt on all sides. Did Pink learn anything from this? You would think so. But one day Pink sent an e-mail to one colleague about another colleague, Mr Spaghetti Monster. Pink said some unkind words about Mr Monster. I believe the quote was "the dude thinks he can fly". As often happens in an office, the e-mail was forwarded to someone else who forwarded it without even reading it to Mr Monster. Pink had to slink off with his tail between his legs to Mr Monster's office and apologize.

Please, don't let this happen to you. Whatever you do, assume that it can always come out in the open. Shame is the foundation of morality, boys and girls.